In this interesting article, Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche explains how one should objectively study one’s behavior, day in and day out. One studies onself objectively in order to really understand and resolve one’s deeply ingrained issues. He mentions that one of these issues is the constant need to feel special.

From the article:

Even our desire seems much greater, and well beyond necessity. There are times when we feel, “Well, over here I’m going to feel special. Here I’ll actually be able to be somebody, and that will make me feel very special.” This burning sepa (Tib. desire, attachment) is couched in that way, as something that is always there, which has been strengthened over many lifetimes, but particularly in this life.

To be a doctor will make me special.” “As a lawyer, I’ll feel special.” “Becoming a model, I’ll feel special.” “To be a Guru, I’ll feel special.” “To be a rich man, I’ll feel special.” “To be the wife of a rich man, I’ll feel special.” “To become famous, I’ll feel special.” “To be powerful, I’ll feel special.” And then for a moment it really does seem as though it works! But then it stops working, it evaporates right in front of you. It’s like the food and drink that just evaporates right before the preta. This new status quo that you’ve worked so hard to establish no longer makes you feel special enough. So the discontentment returns. A sense of disillusionment arises again. And it’s not really the fault of anything on the outside.

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